you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
