I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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