she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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