Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
