We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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