Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
