im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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