you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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