I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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