Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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