Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
