I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Rumble strips road head = magical
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
