I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
