oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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