You just made me feel so damn special
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
