where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
