Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
