Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
