There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
