oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
