as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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