he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Randomize
