It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
