Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
