I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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