we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
