I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
