At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
