i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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