we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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