sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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