Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
