Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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