Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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