Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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