Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
