I only kidnapped one of them. chill
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
