in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
