You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
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