Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
honey bunches of taint.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
