ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
