Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
