If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
