he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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