I want to stick my p in your. b.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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