Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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