You smell like a Billy Joel song
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
