I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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