Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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