How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
