I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
me + whiskey = a bad person
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