Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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