I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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