So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
