I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize