Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
