my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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