I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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