Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
