She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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