hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
