I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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