one might say we're banned from that church
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
