You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
