I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He shit in the fireplace
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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