It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
