I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
