I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
