Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
