Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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